He is author of more than 50 books, including Reading the Bible Supernaturally.
For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. You can hardly open your internet without some advertising on the side awakening some sexual desire. The days are coming, according to 1 Timothy 4:3, when people are going to forbid certain things including marriage because marriage has that ugly stuff called sex.
He was determined that he would not have sex before marriage and prayed each day for the Holy Spirit to help him avoid sinful thoughts of trying to get any woman to have sex with him before marriage.
It is really amazing what we are having to deal with these days. God put sex in our lives for other deeper, personal, and satisfaction reasons. There is illicit sex in marriage; it is called adultery. Or in 1 Corinthians 7:9, Paul says, if they can’t exercise self-control, they should marry, because this phenomenon — this wonderful thing called sex — is designed to be satisfied in marriage.
But the majority of abstinence training only teaches half of the abstinence God calls for when it comes to intimate relationships between men and women.
This “half measure” abstinence that is taught in most Churches today has lead to modern practices in Christian dating that encourage emotional cruelty toward men.
So, I think it is crucial to ask, when a young man and a young woman (or an older man and an older woman for that matter) begin to hang out together, what should they do physically? It does not have a single sentence somewhere that says, “Ok, engaged couples, or couples that are starting to date, here is what you can and can’t do.” The way we have to approach it is by putting together truths from the Bible which lead to some conclusions. And, of course, the amazing text that all men love from Proverbs –19, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. And there is illicit sex before marriage; it is called fornication. One of the reasons for is that the physical union of sexual intercourse is meant to be the physical capstone of an emotional, spiritual union in a lasting covenant. Sex has roots and branches penetrating all our being, and it affects all our being. Women are wired to want more plainly than men the holistic dimensions of sexuality.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” So clearly sexual touching is a good thing, biblically. We have tried to abstract sex from the covenantal, deep, personal, emotional, spiritual union of a man and a woman in our movies and in our literature and our advertising. They don’t want to be treated like mere animals for men’s animalistic satisfaction. They want this thing to have personal dimensions and covenantal commitment dimensions.