It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.I was officially “middle aged” and in need of Botox and eye glass “readers.” Why would someone want me when they could have one of the million 30 year olds living in the city? I felt like a failure: I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. I couldn’t even manage to save my marriage for the sake of my two very young children. There’s a lot of guilt and self-hatred that goes with getting divorced.One spouse must file a petition with the court and a judge decides issues of property, support and custody, much as he would in a divorce.At the end of the litigation, the court issues a decree of legal separation.Legal separation can mean different things in different states, so it should come as no surprise that the laws regarding dating after legal separation are also somewhat inconsistent.To further complicate matters, the Uniform Code of Military Justice has its own laws regarding adultery among members of the United States military.Some states consider a couple legally separated when they have signed a separation or marital settlement agreement and relocated to separate homes.A separation agreement is a binding contract, but the contract is between the spouses and doesn't involve the court until they’re divorced and it becomes part of a decree. In other states, legal separation is a process similar to divorce.
My kids were on vacation with my ex, so I had no child care issues. When I walked into the bar, my friend came rushing over to me.Maybe you hate yourself a little bit because of that.Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. Hello 40’s: This might apply to any woman, married or divorced, but it’s hard to ignore the number 40.Being someone who lost about 10 pounds right off the bat, I felt anything but pretty and sexy and confident. When I got separated, I temporarily became a person who doesn’t define who I really am. I was very stressed because I now had to think about what I was going to do for work, with no current computer skills and no belief in myself. I was coming out of a toxic situation: I think when two people are in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, (which could be for years) both are losing self-worth every minute they stay together. Because you are around this person constantly who you think hates you, or who is belittling you, or who you know doesn’t want to be with you anymore, or who is condescending, or mean.Or, maybe you are the one who wants out of the marriage.