There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.
I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.
A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.
While my husband spent most evenings catching up on the horse racing he'd recorded over the weekend, I began perusing chatrooms – not in pursuit of cybersex necessarily, but initially more for harmless flirtation, a little virtual attention.
And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.
Another recent phenomenon are the Jewish speed dating services and agencies (also known as Hurry Date or Hurry Date), which arrange speed dating sessions for Jewish singles - allowing single men and women to meet many potential mates in one evening, face to face, not online.
Speed dating has become very popular in places such as New York (NYC - Manhattan), Los Angeles LA California, Baltimore, Washington DC, Chicago, the UK, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Australia, Montreal & Toronto Canada, Miami Florida, Houston, Denver Colorado (CO), Cleveland, Las Vegas Nevada (NV), and Boston Massachusetts.
Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.
I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?